amazing amazing amazing. the whole holidays i've been slacking and working and slacking and working. the most amazing part is that the work just fall onto my lap. i don't go looking for a job... but the offers just keep coming. why is that? i guess its true.. when you're not looking for sth.. it just comes right up to ur face. when you are.. it just disappears from view. hahaha. but im glad for it. need to save up money for my melb trip!! hahaha (: can't wait! travelling alone all the way to melbourne for a WHOLE MONTH! how exciting is that. but yet there's alot of opportunity costs that come with the trip which kinda saddens me as well.. because i dont really know what im giving up and the true costs of it. for instance going on the trip means i can't accept the SDE research project which pays $8.75 an hour, i can't do any internship (which is really impt), i can't accept long term jobs (who's looking anw), i can't go for arts camp, i can't go for union camp, i can't meet up with yuying(i havent seen or spoken to her since she left), i have lesser time to meet up with ping and many others who may not be as free or around when im back.. basically alot of pros and cons. but oh well. the choice has been made. the most worrying thing i guess is yuying and the internships. hahaa. if i dont get a job inta future cz i missed this internship opportunity i guess i will just stab myself a hundred times over. anw i'm still looking forward to WINTER in melbourne (some what) where i can hopefully go skiing and stuff (: its going to be soooooooo fun! i know it! ahhaha. but pathetic ol me have only earned about $400 so far. so sian. but nvm i got another job starting monday (thanks to pam) and hopefully its not a bitchy tiring calling job.. i hope its like the callling i did in uob. that wld be fantastic. haha. i just spent many long hours doing up my resume. i must admit it looks pretty good now.. =) its pretty hardwork.. categorizing.. coloring the words.. not as easy as i thought. now all i need is a good neat picture of me in office wear. ahahha! i really can't imagine. which is why im so keen on going into the advertising arena of work. you don't even have to dress in office wear.. and hopefully if im on the creative side.. i get to come up with advertisement ideas and stuff. that would be so cool. at least i've sort of narrowed down my career scope from 'i really dont know' to 'maybe' haha. anw i think since the past two sems. i really really have learnt so much.. and you start to feel yourself maturing.. both physically and mentally.. its like a whole part of you is just growing up and theres nothing you can do to stop it. i still reminisce about the good ol secondary school days.. but i know theres so much more i got to do now. for now i'm just so glad i have gotten to know two wonderful supervisors from citibank and kelly services.. and hopefully from terrapinn (the lady seems quite nice and friendly via sms) haha. we'll see how work goes on monday (: so many things to look forward to.. why am i still looking back?


i really dont know why i still hate you.. but i still do. i really do. i've no desire to see hear or even think of you. i've nv felt such strong detestment for someone before. it scares and surprises me each time.

oh my.. i just spent another 4 hours trying out all sorts of widgets and 'renovating' my blog some more.. spent most of the time exploring all the different gadgets actually. ahahha! now im a tech savvyy chick for sure! yayyyy! i nv knew u cld do so much more with your blog and its just soooooooo fascinating! (: one basic thing i aint that good at yet tho is changing the stupid width and margins shit. just can't get it right!! (shiping or yunx need your help) hahha. but yeah the pictures above this post is downloaded images from various places online.. i thought they were really cool!! (well.. except the burger.. i just wanted to eat that. haha) the sights and scenaries and all were soooooo amazing. i envy the western culture alot sometimes.. their festivals open mindedness creativity fun designs infrastructures just everything. of course i still love singapore and want to live here. i guess the grass is always greener on the other side. but heyy.. check out the pics for yourself and tell me those pics ain't cool and fascinating!! (: bloody hell.. its 8am now.. and i still ain't asleep. asking for it. everytime explore sth im interested in or get hooked on sth (no matter how great or dumb it may be) i just cannot stop and i dont even realise the time that is flying back oh so quickly. and the next thing i know its morning. if my parents knew i was still awake i think they'd kill me. ahaha. by kill i mean nag me to death or sth. i deserve it i know.. but its early inta morn and im tired and i really don't want to be nagged at. so i just got to not get caught. ahahhaa. which is why im contemplating if i shd even go and pee (i wld have to get out of my room to go to the bathroom which might risk them seeing me) HAHAH. okayy.. i am not putting that much thought into the whole peeing debate.. think im just going crazy right now. hahaa. i shall go rest my overworked mind now (:

YAYYYYY!!! finally decided to get rid of my old blog and do up a new one =) added tons of pics and lots of new stuff!! like the youtube highlights, news highlights, picasa, pictures, links, lists etc. basically i changed everything except the tagboard =) finally getting more tech savvy!!! haahhaa.. its already 6.19am and i am still awake doing up this blog when i have a job interview in a few hrs. rocks. haha. spent a grand total of 4 hours doing up everything! and i am far from finish! have yet to upload all the old pictures and categorize them and then add the links to both blogs (mine and our combined) looks like ill be stuck in fronta the comp for quite a while more.. haha. going to become a comp geek in no time. what i really wanted to do was go to the library and borrow a few good books to read. but oh well. i think ill wind up working till next wk. somehow i was initially excited abt the job.. but now i dont really want it. altho it will provide me with additional spending money to splurge in melbourne.. or at least to give my family as a token of appreciation. ayyyyy.. my body clock is so screwed up. well at least this time there's no exams to worry about. =) kayy its getting real late.. more updates next time then. wonder when ill ever get in my composey mood again. haha.


free tic(s) to shrek 3 and pirates coming up! who wants em? (:

yayyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!! exams are finally over!!! =) now i can sit back relax... and enjoy =) dont intend to find work yet.. ahah except maybe the stupid internship thing ahhaha!! so exciting! its gd to be home! even tho i nearly died trying to move all my stuff back.. ugh! ahhaha im inta process of re-decorating and re-shaping and clearing and packing my room (at home tt is) ahahha. okay i lied.. i just started 10min ago.. and alr i decided to go online and watch some south park! hahahaha i found a new website that has all the sp videos check it out!

http://www.allabout-sp.net/

ahhaah its cool =) yay! wow i've been mia-ing for sooooooo damn long!!! got so many things to do and so little time! ahhaha just got to do up my rm first. hahahaha here's the list of stuff to do in random order

1) pack my room
2) re-do up my itunes (stupid me deleted my old itunes.. thk god i dint lose all e songs)
3) watch south park, whos line is it anyway, that 70s show (hee hee)
4) swimming/tanning
5) sports (any sports... pls jio me!)
6) movie marathon
7) mahjong
8) settle my internship
9) settle the melbourne trip (i intend to go for a month)
10) clear up my house and throw/give away all the old stuff
11) set up a blog online to sell my stuff (i said tt long ago but just too lazy)
12) dye my hair ( not sure when or if i shd do it or let my old brown hair grow out fully)
13) learn driving w del (FINALLY.....)

oh ! ps : i cut my hair! its super short! just can tie kind. ahah no more loooooonnnnggggg hair for me.. i must admit its qt a pity since my hair was soooooooo damn bloody long.. i guess i just cant suit the long mature look :/

"Lost love is still love, Eddie. It takes a different form, that's all. You can't see their smile or bring them food or tousle their hair or move them around a dance floor. But when those senses weaken, another heightens. Memory. Memory becomes your partner. You nurture it. You hold it. You dance with it. "

~Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom

King Toodles


Long a time,
When I was little
My Dad used to tell me about King Toodles
He lived in a tree house just down on yonder
And smelt like an arse that was lit with fire.

I often went in search for this King
Who never seemed to grace me or heed me
Still I overturned the smallest of pebbles
And combed the forest before the sun mellowed
I shouted his name and offered my services
But still that stubborn old fool chose to stay hidden
And remain forevermore a complete mystery.

I always went back to my dad empty handed
With a sulky tear-stained face not so well hidden
It was only when my Mother died and Dad stopped caring
That I finally gave up trying.

Even after his death
I still hear his stories
One way or the other
I guess it’s because I long so much to be once again a part of his memory
That I hopped on my old rusty red bike
And took off in search of an answer

I peddled down that old muddy bank
On roads that run so soft and green
Alongside the many lakes of memories
That only my eyes retrieved.

I quickened my pace on long-forgotten tyres
And challenged time in the surroundings of nature
‘Old wheels keep on turning’ my dad once said
Just like the hands of time they turn
But it is alas these winds of change
Especially one - that he so longed to burn.

This bike is old of course I know
It is after all slightly younger than me
It squeaks in protest against my desires
And anchors me down with all its material ‘dysires’

Like a leaf caught in a summer breeze
I head on down unknowingly
Along paths I took many times before
To places I knew lived forevermore

O Sir King Toodles
Oh where could you be?
Please tell my Father
I long to see him
This trip down memory lane is not working for me
I am as lost in this forest
As you’ve always wished me to be

I talk to myself for a good three hours
Before I realized I used up all my powers.
I embodied myself in a grain of time
Where my Dad used to be
He sat on his throne in his castle
And I hero-worshipped him
King of the household I used to say
And Mother would agree
He ruled as justly as he loved unquestioningly
As my Mother and I to him

It was then I realized how stupid I was
To search so hard for something I never lost.
I searched for a King who lived in a forest
Whilst the one King I should have been looking for
Is with me no longer.




Jessica
08:23
2 April 2007

you.

we were once so close
despite all the let downs and times of abandonment
when someone new came along
i stuck by you
in hopes that our friendship
means more to you with each time that passes.
i was wrong.
i believed that our friendship can hold thru anything
and that it was worth almost everything
i was wrong.
you always threw me away
whenever someone else came along.
you always took me for granted.
you almost always had your way.
and i - like a stupid fool
would be waiting stupidly at one corner
waiting for you to pick me up once again.

this time though our friendship took a turn for the worst
though it seemed that our friendship had finally come to an end.
it revived. momentarily.
we called it a truce
forgave and forgot
we talked almost normal
and talked about a return to the past
a past where our friendship stood strong.
give or take?
with renewed hopes,
i gave you everything i had once again.
i went all the way on my part
in hopes that our friendship could be rekindled.
in hopes that you'd pick me up again.

you gave me your promise.
you said you'd come back
that you'll pass on by and re-create whats lost for oh so long
i waited and waited
like a stupid naive fool i waited.
i waited for you to come.
told myself all you needed was time.
i offered to help u come get me.
i offered all i could.
i waited and waited.
but still you never came.

i always took the initiative.
i always took the first step for fear that you already had forgotten me.
for so long it has always been
'i always' and 'you never'
you hurt me.
the past month you hurt me the worst.
yet my hopes were lifted so high
at the prospect of us being good friends again.
and with this intermediarary moment of bliss
came shattering sadness.
as once again.
once again you failed to keep your side of the bargain
once again you threw me aside
once again you showed me what it takes to be a lousy friend.

i've waited and waited.
i think i've waited too long and too hard.
all those years of friendship we had.
all the trust, faith and laughs we shared.
im throwing it all away.
im throwing everything you threw away.
i recently told a few others with great sadness and realization
'i give up'
'i give up on this friendship'
'i give up on us'
'i refuse to try anymore'
i refuse to be on the blind waiting end
when i know that you will never change
that once again i'm wasting my time
waiting for a friendship that had once worked
that will never work again.

i went 99% of the way.
all you had to do was take that one step
you didnt.
i went all out.
i forgave forget.
put my pride aside
went down on my knees
you didnt.

i'm not angry.
i'm just sad.
i don't hate you
i'm just so disappointed in you.
14 yrs of friendship down the drain
just like that.
what's the point if you came back now?
no point.
you missed your golden opportunity
you've made me wait far too long
you've left me hanging on a thread
you've left our friendship for good so long ago.
funny ain't it
how i've only just realized.

i did you didn't
i always you never
i remember you forget
i hope you neglect
i cared you didnt.

has it come to this my friend?
i think so.
i really think so
this time we've come to an end - for good.
goodbye my friend for many long years.
i hope you look back because i won't
i hope you never have to feel the pain i feel
i wish you the best in life
because that's what i've always hoped for you.

okay since im done tv-ing my whole weekend away.. i shall blog abt my current dilemmas. i was just telling SER that i really dk what i want to do in life.. what career i want to take on.. etc... i dont seem to have the passion for anything.. unless u consider slacking one.. which sucks. also.. i cant even decide on whether i shd cut my hair or not.. okay a few qns's regarding this

1) shd i cut my fringe shorter? (still side parting sloping down of course)
2) should i cut my hair such that i am just able to tie or leave it long? (which do i look better with guys? help me out!)
3) shd i just shave my head bald... (this is actually not an option.. ahha)

AHHHHHHH! the mahjong outing totally screwed up my body clock and its 4.30am and i still aint sleepy. been waking up at 7pm the past few days and sleeping at 7am.. how terrible is that.. time to adjust adjust! if not ill be looking like a piece of crap and feeling it too :/ lethargic lethargic is what i feel... ughhhhhh

happy 21st char and cheri!!
we love you!!! (:

how pathetic and clustery are my travels man :/

it is a call for the reader to forge his or her own way in life and not follow the path that others have already taken.

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

happy birthday JOYCE DEAREST!!

you're the best sister ever!
i love you (:

busy_gal86 i have been!! ayyyyy.. was ill illl illlllllll the past 2-3 wks.. actually more or less still ongoing.. grrrr! illnesses were obviously aggravated by the 2 major mid term tests that i had... namely history and social psych of new media.. both onta same day one right after the other! oh my.. inta end i didnt even have time to sleep!!! :/ yes yes i know.. stop last minuting!! but i cant help it!! even if u gimme 3 wks for the tests i will just slack till the last few days. what a loser. i need to revamp my blog! i spent like 7hrs doing up a very nice combined blog for my loves which totally outshines my own.. how loser is that.. its time for a change =) shumz and i had a photo taking mania in her room a few days back! whahahah took sooooooooooooooooo many stooooopidddd pics.. hopefully it doesnt get exposed. ahhaha! she and i really do the stupidest things la.. what wld i do wout her in hall with me.. it ink she is my hall bestie la! (: LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEE! the most happening thing that happened to me the past few wks was CHAR AND CHERI'S BIRTHDAY AND THE EVENT AFTER DP where i won free stuff but shant elaborate on cz it was so embarrassing.. i am so not beatboxer material -.- anyways.. ser and i spent like a whopping $150 on both their presents ccombined!! it was CRAZYYYYYY!! we bought em like huge embarrassing balloons (which i nearly died of embarrassment holding initially b4 we passed it to em.. the stupid thing kept hitting my face and continued doing so even after i passed it on -.-) we personalized the balloons and bought them chocolate cupcakes from the ehh.. shit what is called.. the chocolate factory or cupcake factory or sth.. ayyyyyy the new one near smu with long lines of queues. ahhaha.. and we bought em 3 items each!! (: superrr dupeeeeeeeer! glad they both loved it! ahha especially cheri la.. she was like WOWWWWWWW..... WOWWWWWW.... WOWWWWWWWW! AHHAHA (: it was all worth it! we bought char 2 mango tops, 2 pairs of (cross) earrings and a cute car display thing AND we bought cheri a damn super nice big nike waterbottle (that i want so bad) and a super chio puma clutch and a nice nike white cap! AHHHHHHH . half the time when ser and i were shopping for the presents we were like eyeing our own stuff and some of their chosen items with longing and/or jealously.. sigh. we had a lovely meal of sakae sushi which char treated (3 cheers for sashimiiiiiii!) and proceeded to karaoke at my moms club!!! even tho we only had 1 hr left to sing... it was worth it.. ser and i already had impromptu 'plans' all figured out.. when we arrived ata club.. the stupid guy in charge kept saying u guys only have 1 hr left to sing and u sure u want to etc etc.. he niaoed on and on for like 10 whole min.. before he helped us set up. grr. then when we went in.. ser and i made a huge fuss about all of us needing to pee. so i said ' hey u know what why dont u guys go pee first while i set up the karaoke system here' then char was like 'okay' then char helped our situation by saying 'u dont want to go meh?' then serene came in perfectly and said 'or i stay with you (me) and help u set up you two (char n cheri) go first?' PERFECT.. so immed when the two of em went out the door.. ser and i made a MADDDD DASHHHH to set up the whole celebration!!! we arrange the presents... set up the cupCAKES.. light the candles.. find the lighter.. switch on the karaoke system and find an appropriate happy birthday song (there were abt 3) test them check sound system.. play with the lights... and omg.. we basically went crazy!!! ahhaa. nv felt so stressed before. then just when i was testing the song cheri and char came back in. serene immed picked up the mike handed one to me and started singing... HAPPYYYYYY... then i immed pressed back and replayed the stupid happy birthday song.. which had a super long intro... so we just stood there like fools stuck on our 'haaaaaapppppppppyyyyyyyyy' for damn long!! before we finally maanged to get in sync with the stupid song on the big screen tv.. char and cheri were SHOCKED SPEECHLESSS! hahahah yayyyyyy! they totally didnt expect it at all. they thought the balloons were the end of the presents! ahah. the funniest part was (besides ser and my singing admist burstfuls of giggles) the lyrics of the song that went on and on forever... 'may god be with you' ..... 'happy birthday my dearest... ' and all sorts of odd lyrics that dont fit the moment.. haahha. i bet none of u alll have actually heard the full birthday song before. we were all on a momentary high! it was awesome (: ser and i were so stressed and last min the whole aftnn.. shopping for presents.. searching for candles and lighter while we were already with the two of em.. and hiding the fact that we were holding a surprise celebration.. secret conv's abt the surprise or things we have yet to get in fronta the two.. the many many impromptu lies we had to tell in order to surprise em clueless! OH MYYYYYYYY. it wasn't easy i tell u! hahaha. but it was a fantastic day with the trio.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHAR AND CHERI!! WE LOVE YOU!! (:

kang is seriuosly the funniest.. nv fails to make me laugh. i was telling her abt all the lessons i learnt and stuff.. and she actually said.. 'totally lessons learnt write down in a powerpoint slide and show me ah!' omg it was sooooooo damn funny la! i immed changed my msn nick to that.. haha! damn off. then kang and i were sorta like responding to each others statements via our msn nicks until yunx nudged me on my msn and asked if kang n i were mad! ahhaha (: love that piece of crappish kang. ahhhh.. still tired from zouk last night.. FIRST TIME PLANNED CLUBBING WITH PING AND MEILIN! (: (ping FINALLY we did it).. the usual gang came along... shumz pam tav ali xp and otheres like tze yeong bryan ji ting (who was really really funny btw.. he is like the untypically cute hilarious drunk kind..) and his friends. a night of fun and drunkardness!! (not me tho of course) (: good songs good time (: ayyyyy okay back to doing my readings for tmrs meeting for next wks presentation! eeeks! :/

i was soooooooo bored that i decided to take a test my fren sent me. hahaha everything is pretty accurate i must say.. except for the last one.. makes me sound like some trashy bitch! ):

1. You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and
free.

2. In the process of courtship, the approach that would make you
feel irresistable is creative, never let you feel bored.

3. The impression you would like to give to your lover is loyal,
faithful, never change.

4. What you hate most in your partner is that the person is
ruthless, cold-blooded, and/or ironic.

5. The kind of relationship you would like to build with your
partner is one which make you feel warmth and in-love always.

6. You care about the society and morality, you won't do anything
wrong after marriage.

7. You always want to get married, but in fact, you don't even know
what it really is.

8. At this moment, you are quite self-centered; you think of love as
something you can get and trash anytime you want.

http://www.naucon.net/misc/tests/love_test01.htm

how embarrassing. how utterly embarrassing. hahaha. nv ever ever in my life wld i imagine that i wld do sth like that. but oh well. whats done is done. haha -.- mich saluted or rather worshipped me for being brave.. but ultimately it is foolishness and stupidity that i feel. lol. no matter past or present.. embarrassment still creeps up to my neck and strangles me to shame. damn it. oh well. if its meant to be then its meant to be.. if not.. well you cant fight for whats never yours. haha. at least i said my peace. no regrets whatsoever. right? right. (: (wow i tink im actually starting to partially believe what im trying to convince myself over and over. hur hur) CNY this year is such an unusually sad sad sad time for me.. its not my family that's causing it of course. in fact my family (my mom and dad) are the ones who make me so so so happy everytime i get back (: i simply love them so much. in my secondary and jc days i was too hot headed and stupid to really cherish them completely.. but now i guess since i stay hall 4/7 i really really miss them and love them so much more. i guess its true that time apart does maketh the heart grow fonder? (: u then learn to treasure every single moment with the ones you love. anyway.. vday cld not have pass any funnier.. or more hilarious. all thanks to a certain someone who threw flowers(in a plastic bag) on my lap.. i still cant get over it. ITS SO HILARIOUS! inta end i decided that the plastic bag was priceless and decided to hang it on my rack for safekeeping (or rather for laughing). hahaha nonetheless i really enjoyed myself and appreciated your efforts (: cheers! ahahha also meilin and ping made my day la.. was sucha fun day with them at chinatown! nv regretted a single moment there. ahhaa. we shd go out and meet up more often! ahhaa.. we're all full of nonsense i realise. and god knows how long we spent in that beads shop la. haha AMAZING. anyway.. im already slacking like crazy in my school work.. yikes!! guess a leopard really can nv change its spots. damn it. oh well.. time for some much needed change. its 6am and im getting cranky. so i shall just type random thoughts.

i miss st nicks so much.

yunx i miss you so much too suddenly!!

del you too ):

i want to go to melbourne and visit 3 beloved people of mine (:

i really really really love danny with all my heart no matter how aged or cranky or whiny you become. sometimes i really love till it hurts.

i wish my sister was still here in spore with me.

i wish me ser cheri char jean were transported back to our good ol st nicks sec days.

i wish to be brought back to the days where i truly enjoyed and loved every moment of badminton training in my lower sec and pri school days in st nicks.. where our team was so bonded and we did so many things together. we were the best team ever as a whole. no discrimination just team unity and true love. hardship pain cruel physicals but ultimately fun joy glory victory friendship love (: i really miss those days where true spirit rang from every corner.

i wish you'd leave me alone.

i wish my wing wasn't so empty sad and quiet.

i wish i knew what i really wanted to do in life.

i wish you'd stay and because of you - i wish for the impossible.

I hear the clock, its six a.m.
I feel so far away from where Ive been
I got my eggs, I got my pancakes too
Got my maple syrup, everything but you
I break the yolks and make a smiley face
I kinda like it in my brand new place
I wipe the spots off of the mirror,
dont leave the keys in the door
I never put wet towels on the floor anymore cause

Dreams last so long,
even after you're gone
I know, that you love me and soon you will see
You were meant for me
and I was meant for you

I called my momma, she was out for a walk
Consoled a cup of coffee but it didnt wanna talk
So picked up a paper,
it was more bad news
More hearts being broken or people being used
Put on my coat in the pouring rain
I saw a movie it just wasnt the same
cause it was happy and I was sad and
It made me miss you oh so bad cause

Dreams last so long, even after youre gone
I know, that you love me and soon you will see
You were meant for me and I was meant for you

I go about my business, Im doing fine
Besides, what would I say if I had you on the line
Same old story, not much to say
Hearts are broken every day

I brush my teeth and put the cap back on
I know you hate it when I leave the light on
I pick up a book and turn the sheets down and then
Take a deep breath and a good look around

Put on my pjs and hop into bed
Im half alive but I feel mostly dead,
I, I try and tell myself itll be all right
I just shouldnt think anymore tonight cause

Dreams last so long,
even after youre gone
I know, that you love me and soon you will see
You were meant for me and I was meant for you
Yeah, you were meant for me and I was meant for you

HAPPY EARLY 21ST SHUMSSYYY BABBEEEE!!! ( or shd i say ba be bo as according to james) hahaha! i enjoyed ur party lots! (: and im really sad ure gna be away in thailand sooooo damnnnn longggggggg.. but well at least ull be enjoying urselfff! (: hahhaa.. anw sat was great! the food (esp the sashimi which ser alison and i totally devouredd) ahahahha.. u can ask jerome. when he came down immed aft shumz told him there was sashimi.. there were only 2 left! lol.. sashimi is like my newly acquired food delight! and it all started from the day ms jasmine ling forced me to try some of hers at sakae sushi one fine night (: yayyy! anw i didnt drink at shumz's party cz i wasnt feeling too great initially.. and thus took a panadol.. so i didnt wanna risk anything (n tt my frens is the reason why i was late to go to shumz's hse! not cz i overslept! DAMN BAD!) anw.. the only other pple i knew there were the ac pple... but i dntknw why i was sucha social butterfly that night.. happily mixing ard with pple i dont even know. lol. twas fun! (: we ate and ate and ate and ate ... played asshole daidee (me glass yayi jerome ser ALISON ) which was soooooooo super fun! ahhaa. notice how i highlighted alison's name.. lol she was like the highlight of the night la! nonstop making all of us laugh ... the cockroach incident... crumbs incident... ally and camps incident.. her witch laughter.. all her various and random comments! it was so damn fun! (: im really glad ser was there too! (: st nicks rocks la.. one thing i noticed that night was that when me ser alison and shumz come tgt... we end up being super unglam.. super loud.. super giggly.. super greedy and bimbotik. ahhaha! we have absolutely UNCONTROLLED LAUGHTER... we just kept bursting and bursting with giggly girly fits.. it was sooooooo funny! lol. unglam as we are.. we're proud of it (: all inta name of good fun and entertainment la huh (: im glad shumzi didnt get drunk or anything.. which i totally expected her to.. considering the circumstances. ahhaha her birthday cake cutting was really funny! we all just cldnt stop singing the bdae song and asking her to strip/sing etc. lol. the joel thing was another funny matter all tgt.. it was just really really fun! one of the few 21st bdaes i truly enjoy (: (im really sorry i missed urs yunx.. i regret it till today) the cab fares were bursting.. considering i took a cab there and back.. but hell with that! it was a fun night! (: shumz! u better spend ur bday money well! ahha ill go shopping wya to make sure of that! ahhaha and when are we going seng siong ah! hahaha.. anyone feel free to join our grocery shopping escapade... (esp those w cars lol). many things to look forward to!!

steamboat with jas aya jerome etc.
long hse dinner w cher ser char as usual (:
meet up w del ct cc
sengsiong n shopping w shumz n pam!
more suppers with jason ey all!
prata w alvin (hopefully thomson not fs)
heavenly mathematics with ping (HAHAHA)
jenna's 21st birthday at her hse! (:
snbt reunion dinner!
shopping with mich!
(:

its really hard to define what i want since it encompasses so much. but if you've been thru last sem with me.. u wld probably know what i want this time round. and yes im every bit as determined to get what i want. for now.. everythings going just fine (:

oh my. its been such a long time since i last blog. in fact i had totally and entirely forgotten that i had a blog. lol. i get like that every now and then. been really busy lately with tabletennis trainings and meet ups with jean and my sis. despite the high opportunity costs... (oh god economic terms ugh) i gave all i cld.. every min every sec just to meet up with them before they return to melb. altho it caused me alota dilemmas and headaches n hiccups along the way due to numerous clashes. i still stand by my decision and i do not regret any of it all (: i only wished they clda stayed longer. this sem is so different from the past 3. its so much quieter.. more disciplined.. so much more. lets hope my modules arent as boring as they currently seem to be. if not ill die of boredom even before midterm. the only module i find fascinating so far is heavenly mathematics. ahha astronomy rocks! but it takes far more than interest to achieve the grades.. and sad to say i only am a b3 standard in physics.. my visualization skills of planes and degrees and rotations.. suck. ahahah. hopefully it all works out inta end tho. im really glad im taking the modules with ping zes gil jas cait andy + friend (: i nv knew there were tt many pple taking this mod and im glad for it. (:

i see what i want.
i know what i want.
i believe in what i want.

i'll get what i want. you'll see. (:

i had the oddest dream of late (seriously)..

i dreamed a dream of time gone by
where we sisters formed three
where laughter was our only cry
and words of love between.

swimming and tanning sessions at my pool
playing nintendo
playing lousy mahjong with tons of food and 'words of love'
shopping shopping shopping!
going with me for my mom's DND or company organized events
going for comm hall breakfast without sleeping
watching stupid videos
making stupid videos
ROUND ROUND at sheng siong and getting caught
always getting caught for doing stupid things
ST NICKS
orange bowl
playing quality BRIDGE
even going to bishan cc to play prof bridge before cause of jac
always willing to do stupid things with me
laughing nonstop until we can't breathe or our stomach hurts
never exercising
always eating
clubbing sessions together (ZOUK!)
union camp '05 and '06 together
arts camp together
eyecandies together
CJC together
sitting on the deck floor of your yatch or boating club and altering nursery rhymes and doing weird body movements (deng deng deng diuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu)
dyeing your hair for you
you getting stuck on the walls of my room
us gossiping nonstop
how we can never ever ever keep our volumes down
you alws borrowing my vacuum cleaner to clean ur horribly dirty room
our love for singing
stayovers at your house
laughing at JIA MIN
laughing at my poor MRS DUBOSE situation
reading NB and JD books all the time
re-reading NB and JD nonstop
gettnig lamer and crappier everyday
having the same stupid lingo
eating sessions at newton circus every now and then
movies at lido with tons of food
kbox sessions
duetting SHUT UP and WU DING together always
always choosing the same songs over and over
CALCUTTA TAXI TAXI TAXI TAXI
I WILL GO THE DISTANCE (and how u alws cut me after the chorus -.-)
SPICE GIRLS
birthday celebrations for each other
your WAHHHHHHHHHHHH at the prata house outside zouk
UH UH
DAMN BAD
OH MY
TOTALLY
AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH?
cutting hair sessions
ponning lessons
oversleeping
overeating
you drinking up all my chilli crab soup
CHILLI CRAB!
eating sessions at the prata house
laughing at dannyboy
after cj trips to fareast and town
going thru all the uh uh's together
eating waffles and kfc below your house after stayover
always forgetting how to get to your house (u stay 6th floor right? hmm)
iras work days together (oh god)
always planning to go holidays together but u never can
airport sessions with angie
slacker syndromes
your amazing lip power or king fisher face
me getting condemned by the rest of the dancers cause i shouted ur name first ata performance at ucc -.-
you always wearing your black top me always dressing down
me shaving my legs outside your room
cinth and i alws eating drippable things in your room
ICE CREAM!!
MOS BURGER!!
how good we are at throwing smoke bombs at pple or schoolwork
my various methods in waking you up
us always wanting to keep kittens in hall
us coming back from macs damn seh early inta morning aft eatg w freddie. totally couldn't walk straight at all.
always comparing current caterer to uncle vincent and the gd ol' days
always talking abt st nicks
my PE REP days
OH SEE MOY
MRS TIEN
MS QUEK
1 diamond.... 2 diamond... 3 diamond... GIVE ME ALL YOUR CARDS NOW!
playing at playgrounds
suffering thru DND and shared HATE
always taking a million yrs to try on clothes at ZARA or MANGO
MARCHE food outings.. always sharing the same yummy things + rootbeer
you always drinking from my waterbottle
and always putting things in my bag
all our stupid 'model' poses and 'catwalks' just abt everywhere
always saying we're not black enough
oiling up the pool with tanning oil (thats you not me)
forever getting bitten and sat on by del

never being more than a wk or a few days apart ...
never ever having any big or significant quarrels/standstills

.. until now.

):

THREE SISTERS


once we three were sisters
once we made our pact
living on our island
happy and content

if hell spewed its fury
it never broke our bond
if dark clouds threatened above
it only made us strong

with each turn of the tide
we climbed the wave and rode
be it good or bad
we kept each other afloat

now we've closed the distance
but our hearts are further apart
we may have quelled the past
but the present has stolen our path

i can't find my way forward
i know i can't go back
im stuck admist the raging waves
with nothing left to grab

i thought i heard a voice
it's calling me to shore
i thought i saw a helping hand
it reaches for me once more

it took a while to see the clear
to make sense of the whole
that voice i thought was heaven sent
was actually my own

i stood alone with bated breath
as my worst dreams unfold
i cried myself a river
and drowned myself twicefold

i hid away and played the game
so others wouldn't know
disguised the hurt and covered my eyes
so i wouldn't see it grow

i played it well
i made my rounds and even bought myself
a fairy tale where dreamers go
where i could be myself

i rolled the dice just one last time
to see if lady luck would hold
if i could keep the game at hand
i'd never have to fold

the dice spun off the board this time
i never saw its code
it must have been a lousy roll
i lost two turns at a go

a huge boat of troubles
i have since brought back with me
with one hand and covered eyes
i steered it into a dream

i knew the boat was going to crash
yet i knew i shouldn't flee
a captain never abandons his ship
even at the deepest seas

i dreamed a dream of time gone by
where we sisters formed three
where laughter was our only cry
with words of love between

although i know this boat will crash
i still hold on with my good hand
i guess there's only one question left
will you hold on with me?


// ever felt a sense of nothingness? that is exactly what im feeling.. in hopes tt nothing is what i hope the both of you would be to me.